Our Heritage

(Compare to this talk and this talk)

We come from the heavens, we are made from the heavens.  Science and Religion need not be at odds.

My beloved brothers and sisters, my dear friends, it is a joy to be with you today. We are saddened by the sight of three empty places here on the stand. We miss President Packer, Elder Perry, and Elder Scott.  Death is a reminder to all that this life is a temporal time and that we should use that time well.

Not long ago I saw a quote that made me stop and think. It went like this: “Tell a man there is an invisible man in the sky, and he’ll believe you. Tell him there’s wet paint on the wall, and he’ll touch it just to be sure” -Anonymous .  We are the guardians of people’s faith.  We are trusted by millions to teach correct principles about the man in the sky as well to warn against touching the wet paint.  It is an awesome responsibility and not one any of us who stand as witnesses of the name of Christ take lightly.

When I go to my medical caretakers, I go to individuals trained in science.  They spend years learning the methods of skepticism to ensure that when they find an answer, it is the only answer.  I am a man of faith.  When I try to approach ailments and infirmities I view it from an eternal perspective, with a lens of faith.  Of course, researching things for ourselves is not a bad idea, and viewing things with a lens of faith is valuable, but I still go to the doctor.  Even I rely on skepics.

Sometimes, we want the truth to seem straightforward, plain, too simple because we of what we have experienced and know to be true through faith, that we disregard those who spend years learning precise mechanism to pursue more mysterious or complicated information. Hopefully, we will never think those who spend lifetimes becoming experts in scientific fields are merely chasing after shadows or pursuing matters that have little substance and value simply because we have the gospel.

Let me be clear: there is something noble or impressive about being cynical. Skepticism is difficult—but anyone can do it. However, the faithful life that requires moral strength, dedication, and courage is also valuable. Those who hold fast to both faith and can still ask questions are far more impressive than those who live by either alone.

In the Church, we learn that we are children of our heavenly parents, placed lovingly in mortal bodies.  Science teaches that stars that exploded billions of years ago formed the planets and stars we see today, and that the very elements of our bodies are constructed of “star stuff”.  These two ideas give individuals hope from two angles.  The idea that we are the culmination of events that mounted on top of each other taking amazing amounts of time and circumstance to come to where we are today does not require one sacrifice skepticism for faith, nor faith for skepticism.

When it comes to spiritual truth, how can we know that we are on the right path?

One way is by asking the right questions—the kind that help us ponder our progress and evaluate how things are working for us. Even if we do not take the skeptical approach to our spiritual lives, self-evaluation of our faith is important.  We cannot grow in faith if we never doubt.

I wonder if we as Church members might also benefit from asking ourselves from time to time: “Is my experience in the Church working for me? Is it bringing me closer to Christ? Is it blessing me and my family with peace and joy as promised in the gospel?”

Many members will answer with great warmth that their experience as a member of the Church is working exceptionally well for them. They will testify that whether during times of poverty or prosperity, whether things are pleasant or painful, they find great meaning, peace, and joy because of their commitment to the Lord and their dedicated service in the Church.

But I also recognize that there are some who have a less-than-fulfilling experience—who feel that their membership in the Church sometimes isn’t quite what they had hoped for.

I hope to answer some of the more difficult questions today by revelation.  As such, I will be turning the rest of my time at conference into a Question and Answer session.  Understand that most questions will come from the Skeptical point of view.  Most answers are likely to come from faith.  However, I will try to answer honestly and put to rest some of the most frequently asked questions by members whose experience in the church may be causing heartburn withing them.

Thank you.

Are we not all Refugees?

(Compare to This talk)

Deep inside each of us is a feeling we are far from home.  When we see others forced from their homes, their livelihoods and their familiar circumstance, a peice of us connects with them.

Update: some people wanted a way to help despite the church not starting such a program.  I know of one page that directly reaches out to Syrian refugees.  This is the one I know http://www.shropshirefoundation.org/donate/.

The LDS Hymn “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief” is rumored to be the final song Joseph heard before dying.  It speaks of a man cast out of his circumstance, despised of men and acquainted with grief.  It is an excellent parable of human interaction

Isaiah states that our savior, even, Jesus Christ would be:

“…despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.” – Isaiah 53:3

But on a deeper level, the verses of the song teach us that great lesson as taught by King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon

“…when ye are in the serviceof your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.” – Mosiah 2:17

We live in a world of sorrows.  A world of tribulation for many.  Most of us believe we have a tribulation or are acquainted with sorrow when we cannot find our car keys or our hair will not conform to the norms we have come to expect from it.  We struggle with zits, or making it to meetings on time.

But right now, in our world, there are hundreds of thousands who would call our “tribulation”: “Luxury”.  Wars and strife have turned them out of their homes.  It has ruined businesses that were in families for generations.  It has made paupers out of those who had a great standard of living.  Worries about cell phone placement are traded for worries about food, clothing and basic necessities.

In addition to the loss of home, culture, and income; many have lost family members.  Recently a photo made its way across the internet of a toddler who died due to the family trying to escape the ravages of war while finding safe havens proved too difficult for too long.

In Europe, this need for shelter is understood.  Although possibly starting to fade from memory, many of those who live now remember stories from grandmothers and grandfathers of their need to find shelter from the ravages of World War II.  Many countries have opened their doors to our Heavenly Father’s children to accept our Brothers and Sisters seeking refuge from the pains of destruction.  However, our nation resists.

It is perhaps out of fear, and we can understand fear for the safety of our neighborhoods, our loved ones, our surroundings.  September 11th, 2001 still serves as a grave reminder of what can happen by those within our own borders can do.  However, the scriptures teach us a better way.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear:” -1 John 4:18

Elder Tom Perry, who recently passed away, taught us in October Conference of 2011; when we see our brothers and sisters on this earth with celestial eyes, we will not fear them.

We invite every member to write to their congressman to invite additional refugees into our homes and into our neighborhoods.  We ask Bishops and Stake Presidents to be prepared to administer to those who have “no place to lay their heads”, similar to how Christ was when He walked this earth.  We announce tonight, a worldwide program of using the donations to Deseret Industries and to Humanitarian aid to be distributed directly to these refugees in any state, country, or province they are found.  Any donations given will be delivered with financial transparency, but also with privacy to the receiver.  Then, we can truly state that we did not sound a trump before our alms.

We encourage members to donate generously, that when we meet our savior at the end of our lives, we may honestly hear the words “Fear not, for thou didst it unto me”.

I leave these thoughts with you, in the Sacred Name of Jesus Christ,

Amen

After doing the 40 Talks in 40 days, I can’t help but think that the world has a need that is not fulfilled in guidance.  Those men and women spouted out such bad advice, untrue moments and so many logical fallacies, I can’t help but think that many who were used to following them, but now question, could use some actual Guidance.  As such, I create a new Category: “Life Improvement” with a new series “Better than General Conference”.  Talks, in a similar style, but touching on actual issues of our day.  The intent:  That when a relative sends you an inspired quote or request to read General Conference talk, you can send back some real life advice for dealing with real issues.

Note, I’m not a prophet.  I’m a non-prophet at best.  I’m a human who has some ideas about life.  That said, I’m still convinced this advice is far better than what the “Prophets, Seers and revelators” dish out.  I will not mention this again, as I’d like to kind of leave the comparison with Mormonism in this section and just discuss life, current events, and how we can do better tomorrow than we did today.

Consent is Key

When considering relationships, whether sexual or not, we need to remember a key to a lasting relationship is consent

Have you ever had a parent make you clean your room?  When I was a boy I would sometimes leave toys on floor in the family room in the basement.  I also was sometimes afraid of monsters.  At one point, a brilliant idea came to me, if I laid my toys out, similar to a minefield, with them in unpredictable locations, any monsters coming to get me would be injured on the way.  After I had gone to bed, I heard several cries of pain.  I knew my monster trap had worked.  Of course, there were no monsters.  Instead, my father had come down for a shower, and, crossing the family room, had found a field of foot injuring action figures instead of a quick path to a refreshing shower.

My father had a serious talk with me after several nights of my protective strategy were put in place.  My ability to choose to leave toys out was seriously impacted.

Relationships always require communication if they are going to work.  Talking with my father before setting my trap would have saved his feet some pain, and an original Kenner Star Wars action figure or two.  His willingness to communicate with me helped improve the situation both for him and myself.

Part of what was wrong is that I did not allow my father to consent to the situation.  Relationships between boys and girls, men and women  and even between members of the same gender are always improved when both parties communicate, and allow the other to consent to actions.  Especially where our bodies are concerned.

Many times I have met someone with a different definition of personal space than myself.  Hugs, when consent is granted, are warm, comforting, and communicate love and concern.  Hugs, when consent is not granted can be cold, off-putting and even threatening.

Even in marriage, when consent has been given previously, communication of continued consent is very important for feelings of comfort and safety that allow love to flourish.  If a partner becomes withdrawn, quiet, or changes patterns, communication should lead before consent.

Teenagers, you are in an experimental time.  Many times media portray relationships as “normal” that do not illustrate good consent.  You need to have good role models and to talk to those you trust about how to give and deny consent and what to do if someone denies consent to you.  You are in a practice time to learn good consensual actions to build relationships based on communication.

If a friend is feeling down, ask first, before you hug them, but hug them if consent is given.  If a person tells you not to touch them, even if they are weaker, smaller, or unable to resist, do not touch them.  Even if it is part of a joke that your friends are enjoying.  Practice good consent and your lives will be enriched.

If leaders or people of authority pressure you for relationships, actions or deeds that make you uncomfortable it is important that you report this.  HR departments deal with lawsuits for millions of dollars caused by poor communication and situations lacking consent.  If you find yourself attracted to someone under your authority, understand that person cannot give you consent.  Anyone who is powerless to resist, or whose livelihood is dependent upon forced consent cannot consent.  Persue other relationships until the power in the relationship is equal.

Adults who interact with minors need to understand how little children can really consent to. There are something that they cannot be allowed to decide for themselves.  Toddlers would run around with filled diapers forever rather than be changed.  However, adults dealing with minors must always be careful in getting and respecting the consent of children and knowing the boundaries of their guardians and loved ones, as well as showing children decent respect that should be given to any human.

Sometimes a power imbalance in a relationship can be thrilling.  It can stir powerful emotions.  Leave that for fantasy time, and roleplaying rather than actually exercise power over others.

Individuals who are not conscious, inebriated, or otherwise incopacitated; including from drugs, medication, or injury, cannot give consent.

By communicating with our loved ones, our co-workers and those we wish to add to our list of individuals regularly included in our lives, including discussing situations of consent we can improve our lives, enrich our future relationships and engage on a deeper, more meaningful level.  We can avoid costly lawsuits as well as stand up for ourselves when others put us into situations that would rob us of consent.

There are times when competitors, rivals in companies, or even neighbors may take our consent away.  It never feels good.  But if we all strive to live lives that use the key of consent, the world around us will be a better place

May you all live lives of communication and consent.

Amen.