The Encyclopedia (Brown) of Mormonism

(In the style of and tribute to Donald J. Sobol’s novels)

Now you may have never heard that Joseph Smith once visited Idaville, but he did.  Idaville looked like many other seaside towns its size.  It had lovely beaches, three movie theaters and four banks.  It had churches, a synagogue and two delicatesens.  But no Mormons.

It all came down to when William Law, one of the mormons slapped a quarter into the jug that sat next to the sign on which the words “25 cents per day, plus expenses – No case too small.” were scrawled.

25 cents was worth a lot more back then

“Mr. Brown”, William Law began, “I need your help.  A certain bully is trying to cheat two girls out of their fortunes.”

“How is he trying to cheat girls out of their fortunes?” asked Sally Kimball, Encyclopedia Browns friend, business partner and Bodyguard.

“By marrying them both!” Replied the man.  He then explained that Sarah and Maria Lawrence were both to inherit a large sum of money from their parents.  William had learned from his wife that Joseph intended to marry both the girls and use the money before they became of age to use the money for themselves.

Just then none other than Mr. Smith sauntered up to the detective agency accompanied by a very grungy looking man with hair down to his shoulders.  Sally and Porter locked eyes and exchanged threatening grimaces as Ol’ Joe began to speak:

“I assume you’re talking to the boy detective about my plans to marry the Lawrence girls, William?  You know God commanded me to marry them.”

William Law shrugged his shoulders.  “I know an angel with a sword commanded you to engage in polygamy but.. oh dear oh dear, Maybe they will have to marry you.”

“You can cancel the wedding” replied Encyclopedia Brown picking up a bible.  “There is no way God commanded you to marry the girls”.

How did Encyclopedia Brown thwart the marriage?  Turn to page 87 to find out

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Leroy picked up the bible and flipped to Leviticus 18:18.  He read for everyone gathered to hear “Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life time.”  Encyclopedia slammed the bible shut and said “God would have known that marrying two sisters was forbidden in the bible!”

William Law’s eyes got wide and he accused Joseph of making the whole thing up.  He ran off to return to Nauvoo and print Encyclopedia’s deduction in a newspaper, and Joseph and Porter ran after him, angry that the plot had been discovered.

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Last edited by Mithryn on January 18, 2015 at 4:05 am

1 Response to The Encyclopedia (Brown) of Mormonism

  1. Norlene Hopkins says:

    Are these real books would love to read them.

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