Exploring Mormon Institute 2013 – D&C Lesson 2: The Doctrine and Covenants As a Word to the Modern World


Everybody ready? First, I’ll set out my temple doily:

 and then, I’ll put out a stick:

Everybody see the twig on my doily? Great. Now notice it is not attached to a tree. No, really. The tree is gone. Without the roots, it will wither and die.

This is supposed to illustrate Boyd K. Packer’s quote:

[The Atonement of Jesus Christ] is the very root of Christian doctrine. You may know much about the gospel as it branches out from there, but if you only know the branches and those branches do not touch that root, if they have been cut free from that truth, there will be no life nor substance nor redemption in them” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1977, 80; or Ensign, May 1977, 56).

So, all we have to show is that the D&C and the Church are not attached to the root, and you’ll all know the stick has withered and died.

What are the roots referred to in the scriptures?

Jacob 5:48 –

have not the branches thereof overcome the roots which are good? And because the branches have overcome the roots thereof, behold they grew faster than the strength of the roots, taking strength unto themselves. Behold, I say, is not this the cause that the trees of thy vineyard have become corrupted?

In this verse, The great prophet Zenos states, via allegory, that churches corrupt when they grow so fast their ordinances alter to match the branches (see the seminary lesson on Jacob 5 if you doubt this interpretation is official).

Did the church ever change the ordinances directly given by God in order to make them more palatable for branches?

Okay, back to the D&C:

1. The Doctrine and Covenants testifies of Jesus Christ Joseph Smith’s manipulation of gullible individuals in the 1800s.

Think about the scriptures in the D&C. Do they ever put forward false logic? Do they ever say anything that makes no sense? Do they ever prophesy of things that never happened?

If so, can we write those scriptures off as “of men” because God would not make such petty mistakes? If these mistakes are of men, but portray themselves as “of God,” is that not con-artistry?

2. Jesus Christ is never shown right.

Have you ever noticed that the Church never shows Christ as he would be on the cross, a bloody mess?

That’s an amazingly clean Jesus. This guy bled from every pore, and it never mentions he had a bath afterwards. I mean, the one from Mel Gibson’s “The Passion” is a bloody mess, and he didn’t even bleed from every pore.

I’m thinking that they know that no one would enjoy it, and many people would hide their kids from looking at something like that. Which brings me to the bit in D&C 19:16-19, “But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I.”

Let’s think about this. Either we repent, or we suffer like Christ on the cross, “Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore.”

Wow. So all the people who don’t repent are going to suffer to the point of bleeding at every pore? Like… their own atonement? Then it would be enough they wouldn’t need Jesus, right?

Oh no, I guess not. They STILL need Jesus, he just suffered for their suffering. I guess that this is some of that “Eternal Justice” that exists in the universe because of… well… intelligences or something.

Who decrees that one must suffer like Christ? Who decrees that Christ’s suffering will pay for it? Whoever they are, they are a royal dick.

In fact, even God disagrees. You see, in D&C 19, God clearly says:

For, behold, the mystery of godliness, how great is it! For, behold, I am endless, and the punishment which is given from my hand is endless punishment, for Endless is my name. Wherefore Eternal punishment is God’s punishment. Endless punishment is God’s punishment.

Got that? Eternal punishment is not punishment that lasts for eternity, nor is endless punishment “punishment without end.” No, all punishments are temporary. They are simply called “endless” and “eternal” because God’s name is “Eternal” and “Endless,” and He gives the punishment.

If His name were Bob, it would be “Bob’s punishment.” You see, the threat of hellfire, damnation, and neverending torment was just a little pun that God thought was funny.

Ha ha.

So, why do we have these two very scary verses about suffering like even Christ suffered?

What they did not mention in the manual was that Joseph received these revelations in conjunction with losing the D&C. D&C 19 is all about losing the 116 pages. This is Joseph (or God) chewing Martin Harris out for losing the pages.

And now, a class video: http://www.hulu.com/watch/250048

So you see, when God totally screws up by letting Lucy Harris test him (naughty Lucy), an all wise and knowing God does the most logical, merciful, and  just thing possible. He resorts to threats and being scary.

D&C 19:15- “Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore.”

Yup, repent for testing me. Testing is a no-no. Testing God is bad. Hell, if I send an angel and you try to tell if it is an angel from God, He might just get medieval on your… wait whut? No, I guess that kind of test is okay… just not the Lucy Harris kind. That’s the bad kind.

3. Sins and Repentance.

This part always confused me as a kid, that God forgets sins if we repent.

How on Earth can He be all knowing if He forgets things every 5-10 minutes? I picture the conversation going like this:

Dead Jew – Man I suffered so much, it was hard in Earth life.

God – What do you mean you suffered?

Dead Jew – The Holocaust. The concentration camps? The pain, the lack of food… all of it for you?

God – Nope, don’t remember it. Wait, I do remember some guy named Hitler repented and had his temple work done. Maybe you should talk to him about that. He’s over there on that cloud shaped kinda like a curly cross.

Dead Jew – !!!!

You see, God is really more like Schrodinger’s God. If you don’t repent, He remembers everything. However, as soon as you repent, He may or may not remember your sin depending on whether He is talking to you or not. This just results in the angels gossiping for eternity behind your back about how many times you wanked off to a Carly Rae song.

Because it never says that everyone else forgets, too. Think if they did… only the people in terrestrial glory and below remember how much they suffered; everyone else forgets? Some justice.

4. To exercise faith in God, we must have “a correct idea of his character, perfections, and attributes.” — Joseph Smith, comp., Lectures on Faith [1985], 38

If the Doctrine and Covenants teaches incorrect attributes, character, or perfections of Christ, it is misleading and false. And it is con-artistry, as it portends not to be a “good mythological tale” (which some people claim about the Book of Mormon now), but God’s own voice.


We have every right to expect God to be greater than man’s pettiness and emotionally laden needs.

When Joseph is upset, God is upset. When Joseph is troubled, God is comforting; but has limited foresight. When Joseph is sharp, God is sharp.

This illustrates very much a god of man, and not a god for men based on a really existent being.

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Last edited by EmmaHS on July 8, 2013 at 5:46 pm

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